Emotionally Unstable

Emotionally unstable since I was disconnected from the navel.

Not knowing that I was able to travel the world alone,

so dependency was the only thing that I could call home.

Through the world I roam 

aimlessly and blind

constantly crying without a tear in my eye.

Waking up to a new day but still living in the past.

Wishing I could tell the world to just kiss my ass.

Knowing that being present was a present that I 

couldn't receive because I still grieve

the emotions I let hang off my sleeve.

Like thieves in the night coming to steal my joy.

Wishing I could blame somebody but that would just 

be my ploy.

Play with emotions like a toy.

Knowing it was wrong, fucking up your feelings 

because I didn't  understand my own.

Dropping bombs like drones

inside of happy homes.

Throwing temper tantrums like my name was

Sean "Puffy" Combs.

Emotionally unstable since I was disconnected from the navel,

the only difference today is that I realize that 

I'm Able!

Written 7-28-15

8:45 pm

Mojo

Where does my Mojo go 

when it leaves me and have me feeling 

so, so?

Trying to pick up the pieces but don't know where to start.

I wish my Mojo come back because,

life without it is hard.

I feel like I'm in prison and 

surrounded by guards.

And the only thing that's captured is my beautiful ART.

Being held hostage within my own mind.

Trying to open up the blinds but the sun won't shine.

So all I can do is hope and pray that 

someday, one day

Me and Mojo can play!

written on 7-28-15

8:05 pm

Insecurities

My Insecurities are like jail cells that are made out of glass.

Peering out the window wishing I could be free at last.

My mind is running wild like an untamed child.

My heart is conflicted because it can’t tell the real from the wicked.

My spirit is vexed because it knows I’m being put to a test.

I try so hard to whip my mind but time after time it continues to shine.

I feel blind to myself, a detriment to my health, wanting someone to help but

knowing I have to do this by myself.

I then begin, to travel back in time, to fix the things that broke my mind.

Opening up old wounds is hard to do and to myself I have to be true
all the while hoping that victory will ensue.

Ooh! It’s so hard to fix yourself when it’s so much easier to blame someone else.

Knowledge of self is a shit load of wealth.

My Ode to Loose Hair.

On a Journey we shall go 

through the mountains 

through the snow.

Where we shall bind forever moe, 

where we shall both continue to grow.

Breaking ties with the past. 

Getting mental peace at last.

Locing in to new ideas, understanding the way I feel, 

experiencing 

life as being surreal.

Wanting to kill out the old 

and bring in the new.

Opening my eyes to a brighter world view.

Only being able to talk to a few 

while others are still stuck like glue.

Understanding purpose and the will of God to be.

I shall loc my hair and wash it in the SEE.

Representing my foundation that’s built on solid ground.

Embracing the real me, 

no more messing around.

No more dumbing down for us to remain cool 

because in reality you can’t even tie my shoes.

Don’t mean to be rude but I have to remain true. 

Take it or leave it you have to do what’s best for you.

Ignorance Is Bliss

Her eyes were bright, and wide as could be.

She was a lost girl that could not see.

Traveling through the world without a care

Blessed but still stressed. Wishing someone was there.

She came to a stopping point and was totally unaware

That life continued going while she claimed she didn't care.

She started to see more clearly, and realization was hard.

This thing called life had her beat from the start.

Her heart began to ache at all the wasted time.

Her head started to spin was she losing her mind.

Her world started to crumble right before her eyes.

She wished and she wished and she wished she was still blind.

How could life change, so drastically she thought.

Is this the dream that she thought she sought.

Now she fought, everything in her way,

she was always a fighter, that’s the least she could say.

Maybe she could just run away but life would still be there day by day.

She asked to be awakened from her drunken slumber.

Unbeknownst to her that she had to be ready to rumble.

This experience made her humble. She had given up the fight.

She relinquished her power and regained her sight.

Finally understanding that everything was alright.

She began to go with the flow of life.

Changes

Something Is Happening

Have you ever had that dreadful feeling, that something is about to happen? It is!

Your physical body is going through a change that your mind is not quite ready to accept. It will, be persistent!
You are feeling lost and confused. You are!
You don't know which way turn. Just be still!
You feel hopeless and helpless. You're not!
People are disappearing. Let them go!
You feel as if you're losing your mind. You are, but get ready for a new one!!!!

The world around me

The world has changed, it is not the same.
People are not loving, kind or compassionate. They are in church every Sunday and going to bible study every Wednesday.
But they won't volunteer to help you up off the ground if you fall.
Everyone wants to feel powerful and above others. The outside is more important than the inside. Babies are up on trends and parents grin.
Someone please remind me of the original sin!
drugs and alcohol has replaced water and meditation. overweight and diseased bodies are the norm. teenage pregnancy is accepted. black on black crime is expected. STD's are cool and dropping out of school DON'T make you a FOOL.

to be continued...