I didn't know this existed!

Varicose veins only come on your legs, right? Wrong. How about your vagina? Sounds absurd? Well it’s not; it’s called vulvar varicosities.

This condition is more common during pregnancy due to the increase in blood volume and the decrease in how quickly your blood flow from your lower body putting pressure on your veins causing varicose veins.

Some women can have vulvar varicosities and not feel a thing others are not so lucky. The symptoms include a feeling of fullness or pressure in the vulva ( the outer surface of the female genitalia, from the mons pubis and stopping at the anus) vulvar swelling and discomfort.

Long periods of standing, exercise and sex can exasperate the condition.

So how do you fix this problem?

·      

     Get a support garment- There are some specifically made for vulvar varicosities

·      Switch it up- If you do a lot of standing take frequent sit down breaks

·      Swimming- The water help life the baby and increase blood flow

·      Elevate your hips- When lying down place a folded towel beneath your hips to promote circulation

·      Cold compresses to your lady parts- This may ease your discomfort

Sucks right? There is some good news. This usually goes away on its own within about six weeks of delivery and it doesn’t affect your mode of delivery. So before you go and vow to never have children, all hope is not lost.

Emotionally Unstable

Emotionally unstable since I was disconnected from the navel.

Not knowing that I was able to travel the world alone,

so dependency was the only thing that I could call home.

Through the world I roam 

aimlessly and blind

constantly crying without a tear in my eye.

Waking up to a new day but still living in the past.

Wishing I could tell the world to just kiss my ass.

Knowing that being present was a present that I 

couldn't receive because I still grieve

the emotions I let hang off my sleeve.

Like thieves in the night coming to steal my joy.

Wishing I could blame somebody but that would just 

be my ploy.

Play with emotions like a toy.

Knowing it was wrong, fucking up your feelings 

because I didn't  understand my own.

Dropping bombs like drones

inside of happy homes.

Throwing temper tantrums like my name was

Sean "Puffy" Combs.

Emotionally unstable since I was disconnected from the navel,

the only difference today is that I realize that 

I'm Able!

Written 7-28-15

8:45 pm

Mojo

Where does my Mojo go 

when it leaves me and have me feeling 

so, so?

Trying to pick up the pieces but don't know where to start.

I wish my Mojo come back because,

life without it is hard.

I feel like I'm in prison and 

surrounded by guards.

And the only thing that's captured is my beautiful ART.

Being held hostage within my own mind.

Trying to open up the blinds but the sun won't shine.

So all I can do is hope and pray that 

someday, one day

Me and Mojo can play!

written on 7-28-15

8:05 pm

Light at the End of the Tunnel

Sky is the Beginning

See Through Tree

Is 90 Days in Jail too Extreme?

Sheila Kearns, 58 of Columbus, Ohio was convicted in January, of 4 felony counts of disseminating harmful material to juveniles, and sentenced to 90 days in jail.

Kearns who was hired as a permanent substitute teacher for a spanish class at Columbus’ East High School showed the film titled “The ABC’s Of Death,” in April 2013.

After reading about Kearns I proceeded to watch the film via Netflix and I must say she definitely should not have shown this film, period. The movie consists of 26 shorts all by different directors who were given an alphabet and free rein in choosing a word to create a story involving death. Some of the shorts put you in the mind of a Quentin Tarantino movie but on a smaller scale. The titles ranged from D is for dogfight to O is for orgasm. Q and W were my least favorite although W made me LOL! Because it was exactly what I was thinking. S was my favorite it was well put together and it had a clear message. I, personally enjoyed the film but what can I say  I’m a gory type of gal, but I also must reiterate THIS SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN SHOWN IN THE CLASSROOM UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES.

Okay so back to this 90 day jail sentence. In my opinion I  think that’s a bit extreme granted it should have never been shown and she should never be allowed back in a classroom but to give her jail time for showing these children something they see everyday is harsh.

One of the assistant principals saw the movie being played and confiscated it. The students who watched the movie ages ranged from 14-18

Kearns stated that she did not view the unrated movie before showing it to the class and that her back was turned as it played. A student testified during trial that Kearns watched the movie in it’s entirety, now how a right minded adult could feel comfortable watching this type of movie with children is beyond me.

But, what I do know is that Kearns is not the only one who should be in trouble I feel the school district should be held responsible for hiring a spanish teacher who does not speak spanish. According to the school district they couldn’t find anyone who spoke spanish and they needed to fill the position. Although the judge did blast the school district for hiring her I feel more should have been done because that’s where the real problem lie and parents should be asking questions as to why was she even hired to do a job she was not capable of doing. What do you think? Does Sheila Kearns deserve 90 days in jail for showing this movie? Before you comment I do suggest that you watch the movie.

Is Technology replacing Intimacy?

I feel like I should start this off with once upon a time, but that would probably be a bit extreme. So I'll just start like this, there were times when you would be waiting in a waiting room along with several other people and you were able to enjoy real human interaction. Although some people were not as eager as others to talk to strangers but more interested in reading a magazine or a book, but you could still engage them by asking a question about their reading material.

Now and days you enter a room and everyone is on their phones, it’s like they have a do not disturb sign on their forehead. So waiting rooms can be a pretty depressing place for people like me who thrive off of human interaction. I have even seen couples at dinner in very nice restaurants and instead of talking to each other both are on their phone.

Has technology taken over intimacy? Are people forgetting how to interact with real people, and instead using social media as their only form of socialization? Or is social media or our blind dependence on it a smoke screen for our true loneliness?

After studying our relationships with phones Larry Rosen, Professor at Cal State Dominguez Hills and author of  iDisorder: Understanding our Obsession with Technology and Overcoming Its Hold on Us, shows that our false sense of obligation to our phones are a result of anxiety that we are missing out on something.

Do we not realize that while our eyes are glued to a screen that we are really missing out on the glorious life that surrounds us.

Technology has dumbed us down and one by one we are becoming slaves to the Internet and victims of social media. Self-worth is attributed to how many likes you get for a scantly clad photo. Instead of breaking up a fight you videotape it hoping to be the first to post it on social media. New laws have been made to stop people from texting and driving. If you meet someone and exchange numbers instead of calling first, you text.

Why have we allowed technology to take over our lives?

On average people check their phones at least 150 times per day. I’m not against smart phones they are awesome in more ways that one. It’s our constant reliability on them for the very things we could and should be getting from good old fashioned person to person socialization is not only unhealthy but detrimental to ourselves and our families.

Do you agree or not? What is your relationship to your smart phone? I would like to hear from you.

Will all the real men please stand up

I watched bits and pieces of the 2015 Espy awards and one of the parts that I caught was Bruce Jenner receiving the Arthur Ashe award for Courage. Now I don’t have a problem with Bruce deciding to embark on this journey, high-five to him, but to receive an award for it. Really?

What he decided to do was a personal choice, nothing award worthy. Danielle Green, a women who lost an arm in Iraq, and still decided to give back was better suitor. If Bruce can receive an award for deciding to be transgender then Ciara and Russell Wilson should receive an award for putting Jesus first in their relationship and deciding to be celibate in an over-sexed society.

But that’s not the most disturbing part, the disturbing part is seeing everyone stand up and applaud him. So you mean to tell me that in a room full of pro-athletes, actors and entertainers that no one had a problem with this? I have to admit I was waiting to at least see one look of disdain, but I didn’t. Is this really the behavior that we are awarding and is this really the message that we want to give our children. Have we forgotten how impressionable children are and how many watch this show?

A man who decides a to become a woman after three marriages and six children is what we call courage? So I say again will all the real men please stand up!

Picture taken at railroad park

Sunset in Eutaw, Alabama

Tunnel where slave were held before being sold at auction in Savannah, Georgia

Sunset at Railroad Park in Birmingham, Alabama

Insecurities

My Insecurities are like jail cells that are made out of glass.

Peering out the window wishing I could be free at last.

My mind is running wild like an untamed child.

My heart is conflicted because it can’t tell the real from the wicked.

My spirit is vexed because it knows I’m being put to a test.

I try so hard to whip my mind but time after time it continues to shine.

I feel blind to myself, a detriment to my health, wanting someone to help but

knowing I have to do this by myself.

I then begin, to travel back in time, to fix the things that broke my mind.

Opening up old wounds is hard to do and to myself I have to be true
all the while hoping that victory will ensue.

Ooh! It’s so hard to fix yourself when it’s so much easier to blame someone else.

Knowledge of self is a shit load of wealth.

My Ode to Loose Hair.

On a Journey we shall go 

through the mountains 

through the snow.

Where we shall bind forever moe, 

where we shall both continue to grow.

Breaking ties with the past. 

Getting mental peace at last.

Locing in to new ideas, understanding the way I feel, 

experiencing 

life as being surreal.

Wanting to kill out the old 

and bring in the new.

Opening my eyes to a brighter world view.

Only being able to talk to a few 

while others are still stuck like glue.

Understanding purpose and the will of God to be.

I shall loc my hair and wash it in the SEE.

Representing my foundation that’s built on solid ground.

Embracing the real me, 

no more messing around.

No more dumbing down for us to remain cool 

because in reality you can’t even tie my shoes.

Don’t mean to be rude but I have to remain true. 

Take it or leave it you have to do what’s best for you.

Boy Have Times Changed.

The first short film that I wrote and directed.